status

it was a good feeling that a new group is establishing it's bond with each members. that seems to be outrageous,
at least it won't be too sad being a member of the group. there are times that i, myself joke around, co-members
would laugh at my jokes and stuff. also finding out that the group is excelling on the performance compared to
other groups. establishing the bond of the group seems fun after all. you can even talk to me anything under the
sun. to cut it short it's so good. not to long of feeling happy just today, i've realized i think they're
irritated. if you're gonna notice, i'm trying to tell them about something but the reaction is so dull. ok, so at
first did not mind, but then, as i go on with another one, the same reaction happened. ok so here i am freakin'
paranoid. started to think a lot of things that are not so nice. first i thought that everybody's trippin on me
and against me for the reason that i don't damn know. so here i am just listening to my compilations with a very
loud music so that i won't be hearing about their jokes or thoughts to avoid the humiliation that i would
encounter, pretty damn scared. feeling damn pissed and bothered. o well, i never thought of so much things, but
all i'm asking is respect and somewhat interest in me. can't blame them if i'm not their kind of person to talk
with since i'm always left behind. o well, imagining a lot of stupid things that could possibly happen but it's
too far away to happen. kept telling myself, "DREAM ON!".
anything i try to do seem not ok. alright then, i'll just sit around and do my job. i'll just shut the fuck up.
well still alive and kicking but, still feel empty and wasted. i envy them because at least they tend to discuss stuff more fun and even longer unlike me. i can only discuss something funny in just a short period and there will be a dull moment. ok here we go again. still searching for my solace.